I've Just Recently Begun

I've just recently begun to read a spate of blogs by closeted gay men (and one by a guy who's out). So, I guess that's a good place to start - I'm a gay guy who's still in the closet. Yes, it sucks, but it is not the worst part of my life. I have a condition which is debilitating. I'm not sure I want to name it because, while not rare, it is specific. I would like to remain anonymous, and if I tell you what it is, I think it would be much easier to tell who I am. I will, however, tell you that it is a mental condition. And, no, I am not crazy. This is where the title of my blog comes from. Whenever I see the prompt "describe yourself in a few words," (or some variation of that) I think, and what comes to mind is, "Mostly, I'm just scared." Most things don't scare me, but a very specific thing does and it makes me scared most of the time. Being gay is not the thing that scares me. Though I would say condition certainly prevents me from coming out.

The reason I decided to start blogging is because while extremely narcissistic, it does seem to provide catharsis. The closeted guys especially seem to find solace, happiness even, in anonymously sharing their struggles. I'm hoping that I'll be able to find at least some of that through this blog. Also, I did want to note that my blog will not just be depressing stories nor me whining. I will also write about other things - and when I figure out what those things are, I will let you know. Or, just write about them.

Just a final notes about comments: I decided I would like people to leave comments. At first, I thought it would be desirable to write a blog and have no idea who or how many people were reading it. In the end though, I decided that I did want people to read it, and leaving comments would prove that I do have readers. So, please do leave comments. I will say that I am the type of person who reads blogs and never comments. However, I would greatly appreciate it if you, kind reader, would leave me a comment. And, in return, I will try to leave comments on others' blogs.